I waited for the postman; I waited home in vain,
I waited by the window in case he forgot again,
I didn’t go upstairs, or even out the back,
I didn’t want to miss him with my special pack,
But then the call of nature made me leave my spot,
I had to dash upstairs my legs tied in a knot,
I hastened to the loo and heaved a happy sigh,
But then I heard a knock, oh why, oh why, oh why?
I grabbed my drawers and ran back down to the door,
Only to find a card, dropped there on the floor,
‘Your parcel has been taken to the depot for collection,
Please wait 24 hours, I’m sure you have no objection.’
I ground my teeth in anger, and gave a little groan,
I’ve missed the bloody postman because I was on the throne!