I waited for the postman; I waited home in vain,

I waited by the window in case he forgot again,

I didn’t go upstairs, or even out the back,

I didn’t want to miss him with my special pack,

But then the call of nature made me leave my spot,

I had to dash upstairs my legs tied in a knot,

I hastened to the loo and heaved a happy sigh,

But then I heard a knock, oh why, oh why, oh why?

I grabbed my drawers and ran back down to the door,

Only to find a card, dropped there on the floor,

‘Your parcel has been taken to the depot for collection,

Please wait 24 hours, I’m sure you have no objection.’

I ground my teeth in anger, and gave a little groan,

I’ve missed the bloody postman because I was on the throne!


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