Thief of Life…


Oh World Wide Web you’ve caught me tight,

I now stay up all of the night,

You have become a thief of my life,

You stole my time and caused me strife.

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor,

I’ve had the bailiffs at the door,

I wish that I could walk away,

I fear my mind will just decay.

But the Internet is here to stay,

In cyberspace we can meet and play,

A virtual world is mine to command,

Where I’m not boring pale or bland.

Oh thief of life release me now,

I’ll stay away, I’ll make a vow,

Go into the world keep it real,

No more of my life I’ll let you steal.


The Treasures of a Chestnut Tree…


The horse chestnut tree stands majestically alone.

Protecting its prize within a green spikey husk,

Until autumn arrives, breezing in, winter close on her trail.

Whereupon it drops silently to the ground below splitting open,

To reveal a delightfully smooth, dark, shiny conker.

Waiting to be gathered by noisy children,

To be declared as treasure in the school playground.


Long Distance Love…



Hello mother and stepfather,

Here I am at Bristol harbour,

It is raining, I’m not complaining,

But it makes moving even harder.

Got my room in the hall,

It is cosy, but quite small,

Miles from Uni, my legs are puny,

I don’t think that I can walk at all!

I have no cash, I’m not flash,

I need my grant for beer and hash,

Can you send a takeaway?

Or I will have to live on beans and mash.

Soon be Christmas and I’ll be home,

Now dearest mother I heard you groan!

Buy some gin, it’s not a sin,

I’m sure you don’t want me to be alone.

Now I must go, and see my tutor,

No more games on my computer,

Must not be late, or hesitate,

I am working towards my future!


Sty Eye…


Oh no I have a sty in my eye,

It really stings it’s making me cry,

My mother said ‘Bathe it with tea,

Cold and strong that’s the key.’

Well I tried to balance the bag on my face,

But the tea bag split, and I looked a disgrace,

Tea leaves like freckles all over my nose,

Lovely brown stains running down my clothes.

I think next time I’ll let it itch,

I’ll probably develop a bit of a twitch,

But at least I’ll be clean, not covered in tea,

No more reading at night for me.

Breakfast Bar…

breakfast bar

My kitchen is just lovely it has a breakfast bar,

My husband knocked it up he is a superstar,

Now the kids can eat whist I pop up the toast,

I can even make a cuppa, I am the perfect host.

I no longer need to run, to the dining room,

My world is full of smiles no more doom and gloom,

The floor is easy clean, the stools are nice and neat,

It really is superb, a lovely place to eat.

Now I want some tiles and a nice new sink,

I’m sure that he could do it before I even blink,

Maybe change the cupboards, add some shiny taps,

Let’s not go to mad, I don’t want him to collapse.

And did I mention the bathroom, it needs a nice new suite,

And maybe underfloor heating for my chilly feet,

I’ll write a list of jobs and leave it on the wall,

And maybe he can do them afore it is nightfall!

Hiding Under The Bed…


I’m writing this poem from under my bed,

A place of calm to where I’ve fled!

I’ve found some dust, a pair of drawers,

Does no one vacuum these dusty floors?

I must be quiet or I’ll be found,

The kids can hear the smallest sound,

But wait I see a pair of feet,

Painted toes all nice and neat.

I try not to cough and be quite still,

Being on my own is such a thrill,

I don’t what them to find my hiding place,

I think I’ll make it my secret base!

I’ll leave a book, maybe some food,

Hang fairy lights to enhance my mood.

I hear a voice calling for me,

‘Where are you Mum, I want my tea!’

I heave a sigh and give up my space,

And plaster a smile upon my face,

‘Coming!’ I shout as I wriggle free,

No more dreaming under the bed for me!