Big School…


My child is off to big school,

I had to go and see,

The teachers that would teach him,

And the class where he would be.

We went into the hall,

The head was in a gown,

He saw we were all fidgeting,

And gave a little frown.

He talked about the uniform,

And said they must be neat,

From their lovely heads,

And right down to their feet.

Then he mentioned stamps,

And their diaries too,

He said they must collect them,

In order to get through.

He talked about arrivals,

And how, not to be late,

Otherwise the tutor,

Would decide their fate.

We had to leave the hall,

And go out to the class,

Some parents just walked off,

Their face as bold as brass!

The teacher came to meet us,

And talked about our child,

Some she said were lovely,

And some a little wild.

She said that she could tame them,

And bring them into line,

The children might resist it,

But they would be fine.

They had to learn a language,

And lots of homework set,

I know my child won’t like it,

I could place a little bet.

The school was full of rules,

That they should obey,

And they must be good,

Almost every day.

I had to leave the meeting,

My head was in a spin,

I went home to forage,

For the flask of gin.


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