Lets do up the lounge I said to my spouse,
A DIY disaster then took over the house,
The drill came out with a flourish and a smile,
I know what I’m doing it’ll be done in a while,
There’s a hammer, nails a saw and paint,
Enough man kit to make you faint,
Why don’t you pop down to the shop?
And I will get started chop chop chop.
But why I asked do you need a drill?
Because he said, it gives me a thrill,
Please don’t use it on my wall,
I closed my eyes and started to bawl,
Don’t worry so my precious one,
I’m only joking, having fun,
Stretching out to grab the saw,
He cut the skirting on the floor.
Then a sand to make it smooth,
I’ll play some music get in the groove,
A couple of nails to dislodge,
You’ll never notice my little bodge.
Grabbing my shoes I left in a rush,
As he took hold of a hairy brush,
When I returned the plaster had crumbled,
Oops he said I’ve been rumbled,
I may have been a little firm,
Don’t panic now it’s not long term,
All it needs is a touch of filler.
I may turn into a husband killer.
Please stop I yell I can’t take any more,
Pick up your tools from the floor,
No more DIY for you today,
I swear my hair is turning grey,
My house resembles a dusty mess,
I’m not very pleased I must confess,
Still I suppose he really tried,
I mustn’t knock his huge man pride.