Crunch…

Car

I was in a hurry,

I wanted to get inside,

But when my flip-flops slipped,

My car began to slide.

In vain I tried to stop it,

Smashing into the house,

And now I must explain,

To my darling spouse.

I hope he isn’t cross,

With my little scrape,

I’m sure that he can fix it,

With a little tape!

School Run…

Mother

The kids can’t find their shoes,

Their kit bags or their lunch,

I think we might be late,

I have a little hunch.

The cat has taken the bobbles,

The girl ties in her hair,

And the boy has lost his glasses,

I might be known to swear.

They haven’t brushed their teeth,

Their hair looks like a nest,

One is in pyjamas,

The other’s still undressed.

I’m trying to do my make-up,

Get ready for my day,

My tights have got a hole in,

My face looks really grey.

We dash out of the door,

Not a minute left to spare,

And I’ve lost my keys,

I slink into despair.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better,

I’ll be organised and sweet,

I’ll be the perfect mummy,

I will not admit defeat!

First Past The Post…

Election 2015

Today I watched the elections,

People dropping down like flies,

No more the UKIP banner,

Or Miliband’s plaintive cries.

Nick Clegg has joined the pile,

Of MPs on the heap,

And now we have Conservatives,

That’s one giant leap,

I wonder what will happen,

As we watch the politics unfold,

Will they follow the people?

Or leave us in the cold.

Five years more to go,

I hope they get it right,

Otherwise we’re leaving,

Last one turn out the light!

Map Reading…

Map

I am an excellent map-reader,

But my husband doesn’t agree,

He thinks that I am useless,

We’re always lost you see.

I turn the map around,

And try to read it right,

But without my glasses,

All hope has taken flight.

I smile and say it’s nice,

To discover places anew,

I can’t tell you the reply,

But the air is blue.

So now he’s bought a Sat Nav,

To guide us on our way,

I had to hide a grin,

When it made us go astray.

The Full Set…

Beard

I’m a modern Man I’m very hip,

My face is now in fashion,

Some think that you might call it stubble,

But I love it with a passion.

A moustache and beard that makes a set,

To frame my lips and teeth,

And cover up the spotty skin,

That lurks there just beneath.

I’m often told it’s all the rage,

It is the latest trend,

To cultivate ones facial hair,

That grows from end to end.

My Girlfriend isn’t keen,

Although she’s very polite,

To be so very hairy,

She says it’s not quite right.

She thinks that I look older,

Now I’m not so keen,

I’d rather be called youthful,

Than an old has been.